WOODEN CHAIR SITS IN YARD, CURVED ARMRESTS, MEN ARGUE ABOUT CAMERA RUNNING OR NOT, SARCASTIC COMMENT, MAN SITS DOWN AND SPEAKS TO THE VIEWERS, INTRODUCES THE ANNUAL SCHOOL PLAY, ZOOM IN TO MS OF MAN READING SCRIPT ABOUT A FAIRY TALE AND A BALL, A SPOOF ON CINDERELLA, MAN GETS OUT OF CANED CHAIR AND RETURNS FOR A BOW, MAN OFF CAMERA GIVES DIRECTIONS TO ACTORS

MAN IN TATTERS GETS TANGLED UP IN CLOTHES LINE

MAN IN RIPPED CLOTHES SCRUBBING CLOTHES IN WOODEN BARREL, WIPES HIS FACE WITH A BRA

MAN IN TATTERED CLOTHES SCRUBBING THE PAVEMENT WITH SCRUB BRUSH, EXHAUSTED

MAN CARRIES CUT FIREWOOD UP BASEMENT STAIRS, OUTDOOR CELLAR STAIRS, DROPS THE PILE WHEN HE IS STARTLED

MIRROR, VOICE-OVER RECITES "MIRROR, MIRROR...", PUFF OF SMOKE APPEARS AND CLOUDS THE VIEW, WHEN IT CLEARS IN REVERSE A SMILING MAN IS REFLECTED

BLACK WOMAN AND WHITE WOMAN DRESSED IN RED SIT AT DINING ROOM TABLE, LIT WITH MANY CANDLES, THEY DISCUSS THEIR WEIGHT AND DRINKING

ECU OF BLACK WOMAN, DRINKING FROM A GLASS, THICK FAKE EYELASHES

MS OF HEAVY WHITE WOMAN WITH CLOWNISH LIPSTICK COMPLAINING

MAN IN TATTERED CLOTHES (A MALE CINDERELLA) TALKS TO HIMSELF IN THE MIRROR

BLACK WOMAN FILES HER WHITE DAUGHTER'S TOENAILS ON DINING ROOM TABLE, AS SHE EATS AN ICE CREAM BAR AND PUTS A DILDO ON A CANDLE STICK, THEY PUNCH AND KICK EACH OTHER A BIT

MAN TALKS TO HIMSELF IN THE MIRROR

MS OF MAN

QUICK CUTS FROM HEAVY WHITE WOMAN DANCING ROUND AND ROUND TO MAN IN MIRROR AND BLACK WOMAN DRINKING

CU OF WOMAN SPINNING ROUND AND ROUND, DIZZYING, BLEEDING LIPSTICK, INSANE

BLACK WOMAN IN BED VIEWED THROUGH GAUZE, WEARING SEE THROUGH WRAP AND GAUDY NECKLACES, LAUGHS

TITLE CARD: "ONE MOMENT PLEASE"

MAN OUTSIDE PEEKING IN DIRTY WINDOWS FALLS BACKWARD

CHUBBY BLACK WOMAN IN BED BARELY COVERED

CHUBBY BLACK WOMAN IN BED, COVERED WITH SHEER FABRIC SINGS AND STRETCHES

BLACK WOMAN IN BED SINGING, PRACTICALLY NAKED

BLACK WOMAN IN BED SINGING IN FRENCH, ZOOM IN TO CU, MAKING CRAZY FACES

NAKED WOMAN IN BATHTUB WITH SPRIG OF HERBS

NAKED WOMAN WITH GLOVE ON HER FOOT AND HERBS TRIES TO PUT HER FOOT IN HER MOUTH, CONTORTING LEG

NAKED WOMAN TRYING TO PUY FOOT IN MOUTH IN BATHTUB

NAKED WOMAN IN OLD TUB WITH RUBBER GLOVE ON HER FOOT, STRETCHING HER LEG UP, CUT TO MAN ABOUT TO SNEEZE FROM PEPPER IN THE KITCHEN

MAN KNOCKED OUT ON FLOOR

MAN ON FLOOR DISAPPEARS IN SMOKE

WS OF MAN WALKING HAPPILY IN FIELD, ZOOM IN

CU OF FLY SWATTERS AND TENNIS RACKETS, CUT WITH MAN EVADING THE ASSAULTS

MAN IN CORN FIELD IS ATTACKED BY METAL RAKE, QUICK CUTS

MAN EMERGES FROM CORN FIELD, STUMBLING OUT

MAN IN WIZARD COSTUME SINGS AT STOVE IN THE MIDDLE OF A WOODS, MAN IN LEDENHOSEN BACKS UP TO WATCH, CUT TO HIM CALLING FOR THE WITCH

MS OF MAN DRESSED AS WITCH WITH GROWTH ON HIS FACE AND LONG GRAY WIG, TRYING TO GET MAN TO VISIT

MS OF WITCH AT STOVE IN WOODS, HE LURES MAN IN FOR TEA AND GINGERBREAD BOYS

WITCH TRIES TO KICK MAN INTO THE OVEN BUT MISSES AND SLIPS, CUT TO WITCH ON THE GROUND MAKING SUGGESTIVE JOKE ABOUT GINGERBREAD BOYS BEING DONE WHEN THEY ARE HARD

GINGERBREAD COOKIES IN OVEN

SMOKE POURS OUT OF OVEN, IN THE WOODS, MAN DRESSED AS WITCH MOANS AND SCREAMS, CORNY JOKES

TWO FIGURES, A MAN AND AN ANGEL LIKE ONE COVERED IN WHITE GAUZE, RUN TOWARDS EACH OTHER IN A FIELD, SLOW MOTION, CUT TO EACH INDIVIDUAL ONE

MAN RUNS IN HORROR AWAY FROM WITCH DRESSED LIKE A GHOST

NUN SITS AT MAIL BOX ON EDGE OF FIELD,MAN RUNS PAST HER AND COMES BACK AND KNEELS AT HER FEET TO PRAY, HE TAKES OFF HIS SHIRT AND GIVES IT TO THE NUN AND RUNS OFF, NUN CALLS FOR LITTLE DOG

SHIRTLESS AND SHOELESS MAN RUNNING DOWN FARM LANE BETWEEN CORN FIELDS, FALLS TO THE DIRT

MAN IS SURPRISED AND SURROUNDED BY MEN WITH SPEARS JUMPING OUT FROM BEHIND HAY BALES,MEN IN BLACK UNDERWEAR SURROUND HIM WITH SPEARS

ORGY TABLEAUX ON HAYSTACKS, FIGURES DRESSED IN BIKINIS AND ANIMALS SKINS, WAITER APPROACHED, CUT TO MS OF PRETTY YOUNG WOMAN STICKING HER TONGUE OUT

MEN CARRYING SPEARS RETURN THROUGH THE FIELDS WITH CAPTURED MAN

MEN BRING CAPTIVE MAN TO GROUP ON HAY BALES, FAT WOMAN MAN HANDLES HIM

GROUP OF HUNTERS DRAG MAN AND STRIP HIM AND PUT HIM IN A BIG POT

NAKED MAN IN STEAMING POT, CANNIBALISM

BEAUTIFUL YOUNG MAN TASTES THE POT WITH THE NAKED MAN, SIPS FROM A SPOON AND SPITS IT OUT

CAVE MEN DECIDE TO COOK THE FAT WOMAN, FLASHBACKS

NAKED MAN RUNS THROUGH FIELD, STOPS TO PUT ON HIS SHORTS

END TAPE