CHARLEY'S GIRLFRIEND, MADGE, IS PLOTTING THE LOCAL CHARITY PRODUCTION OF "ROMEO AND JULIET", AND MAN-ABOUT-TOWN, CHARLEY, IS MANIPULATED INTO APPEARING OPPOSITE HER IN THE TITLE ROLE. SHE WILL ONLY AGREE TO MARRY HIM IF HE AGREES TO PERFORM. BUT WHEN HE SLIPS INTO HIS TIGHTS WITH HIS SKINNY, PIPE-CLEANER LEGS, IT IS APPARENT SOMETHING IS MISSING - MUSCLES. READING THE INSTRUCTION MANUAL THAT CAME WITH HIS COSTUME, CHARLEY ADDS SPONGE PADDING. WHILE RETRIEVING HER DRUNKEN FATHER FROM A LOCAL SPEAKEASY JUST IN TIME FOR THE BIG PERFORMANCE, CHARLEY IS FORCED TO GUZZLE A BIT OF BATHTUB SCOTCH AND IS THEN CHASED THROUGH A LAWN SPRINKLER BY A COP, WHERE HIS LEGS TAKE ON A BIT OF WATER.
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