1970 DAVID SUSSKIND SHOW - HOW TO BE A JEWISH SON - WITH MEL BROOKS, DAVID STEINBERG, GEORGE SEGAL , STAN HERMAN , DAN GREENBURG , LARRY GOLDBERG - JEWISH MEN IN SHOW BUSINESS JEWISH COMEDY
David Susskind 0:01
All right, David, we just had an education in the torah. Do you have anything to comment on?
David Steinberg 0:06
Oh yes. When you were when you appear on the talk shows in a Jewish family, that's what I've seen in the nearly uninterrupted was that a doctor and a lawyer is less than appearing on a talk show. A Talk Show is like a Nobel Prize winner in a Jewish family. I mean, that's the epitome. And my family's very proud of me. The only time it caused any tension is I bought a Volkswagen when I was at college. And that immediately set everyone off. And I realized that I had myself I had, I had a fear of Volkswagens. From childhood, I am this fear that wouldn't it be weird , made all of the Volkswagens are going to drive all the Jews back to Germany. And I got rid of it, because it was placed in my head by my family was something that would ordinarily think about kind of interim conversation that
David Susskind 0:54
that's a what kind of a relationship do you have with your mothers now? Do you see them regularly? Do you write frequently?
George Segal 1:02
I see her regularly. I see her once, maybe twice a week. I'm having lunch with her tomorrow.
David Steinberg 1:09
Can we come?
George Segal 1:11
David Susskind 1:13
Other words with that kind of regularity? It presupposes a good relationship. I mean, you like each other?
George Segal 1:18
Yes. Is your mother?
David Susskind 1:21
No. extent? Yes. She's quite alive
George Segal 1:23
Is she here in the city?
David Susskind 1:25
George Segal 1:25
Do you see her?
Dan Greenburg 1:26
Yes I do, quite frequently
George Segal 1:27
About how many times a week would you say?
David Susskind 1:30
Well, a one and a half times a week.
George Segal 1:34
Do you have her up or you go to her place,
David Susskind 1:36
No most of the time she prefers to visit so she can see the grandchildren.
David Susskind 1:40
Does she get along with your wife.
David Steinberg 1:41
Oh, yes. Extremely well,
George Segal 1:45
Where did you grow up?
David Steinberg 1:47
I grew up in
George Segal 1:48
No no, just let me ask you questions because we see week after week we hear we don't know anything about you. You are asking us as if you don't have a Jewish mother.
David Susskind 1:59
No, I do. I do. I confess it with great pride,
Mel Brooks 2:03
What do you give her David? How much a month. Enough to get by. Is she happy with what you give her.
David Susskind 2:17
George Segal 2:19
Did you grow up in the city here.
David Susskind 2:20
No come from Brookline Massachusetts. Now could could we push on today? Are you seeing a lot? A lot of your mother
Mel Brooks 2:26
do you like your mother? I my mother just moved down to Miami Beach. So I don't hear it as often as I'd love to. But I do call her quite often and I try to you know, fly down at least once a month and say hello. I liked my mother very much. I love her. She's groovy she's good natured. She has a jaunty jolly way and a sense of humor i i owe a lot to Iowa $1,100. Like and she's not she was never as never been an oppressive force in my life. She's she's been quite the opposite. She's always been buoyant and uplifting. And
David Susskind 3:07
she still kind of did regulate your life a little for example, would once it was when you're getting married once you find a nice girl right
Mel Brooks 3:14
No, in no way ever No, no, no manners.
David Susskind 3:17
She didn't want that.
Mel Brooks 3:18
No, She. someone said on the pannel. Was it you, Dan said about being happy. You should only be happy or some was it you?
George Segal 3:28
I'll say my mother.
Mel Brooks 3:32
But anyway, she wants me to she she would like very much for me to be happy. And
David Susskind 3:36
today, she accepts you. She's got her head out of the oven. She's happy with your choice.
Mel Brooks 3:41
She loves Annie and she. She's very proud of what I do. She thinks my film is grand.
George Segal 3:45
Which film is that?
Mel Brooks 3:46
It's called My Tant Hannah's tish. That's my aunt. Hannah's tablecloth. By the way, a strange thing about Jewish mothers. My mother does not have a particularly Jewish accent. She came here from Russia when she was a child. And her influences Irish because the only people who spoke English in the United States or in New York at that time, the only people who were the teachers, firemen, the police, the administration was Irish. And so my mother and my uncles and aunts have a vague Irish accent like my mother will say watch all right now all right, baby. I'm all right. Just a little thing am I shy? But it's true now I'm overdoing it. Okay. It's a kind of New York East you know, kind of Metropolitan little brushstroke of Jewish and
David Susskind 4:47
what does it sound like in truth?
Mel Brooks 4:49
Oh, my son. What are you talking about? Are you talking my son? He's taps and taps. Now that's Irish tops and he's taps and taps is pretty. Oh, he gives any does And what does he do? He dances he runs he walks.
David Susskind 5:02
Sounds a little melancholy.
Mel Brooks 5:05
He's terrific. The TS is terrific. So she doesn't have you know, the kind of stranger you know, amalgam of accents.
David Susskind 5:14
Have you been in psychiatry six years
Mel Brooks 5:16
David Susskind 5:18
Psychiatry for you, Dan?
Dan Greenburg 5:19
Stan Herman 5:22
I was just gonna say about relationships with with my mother I am. I think I mentioned to you, David, a book was written about Me About About six months ago. And that was a hard thing for to take. It's hard for mother to see herself in a book. It wasn't about me. I was not fiction. And I was not the it wasn't exactly the story of my life. But I would it was built around a designer on Seventh Avenue, more or less about me. And the family unit. Were there very much there. And it was a hard thing. For her to see herself in the book. Not a thing was like her nothing. Nothing
David Susskind 5:56
She didn't recognize. But it was actually her. Well, it was a
Stan Herman 5:58
Well, it was a part of her. Yes, it was and that was a big thing for me that for her and for me to see herself in print. It's a strange book was called Mr. Jack and the green stalks
Mel Brooks 6:07
Mr. Jack and the Green Stalks.
Stan Herman 6:09
Mel Brooks 6:10
I think I heard of it. Yeah.
Stan Herman 6:12
No, no, no, but it was a good it's a good book. It's gonna be called the velvet jungle in paperback.
Mel Brooks 6:19
a Seventh Avenue design to think about, yes, think about the appropriation of words. A Seventh Avenue designer. We're gonna make Seventh Avenue, eight storeys high. We're gonna turn it at 38th Street. We're gonna curve it a 39.
Stan Herman 6:36
It's as opposed to a Broadway design? You know, it's, it's just a garment said, you know, Seventh Avenue. Two distinct areas Broadway and Seventh Avenue. Seventh Avenue is legit. Broadway is the big those are the big moneymakers. Those are the handlers. Those are the guys who go out there and knock off Avenue as opposed to seventh avenue
Mel Brooks 6:54
I mean, like you cut like a
Stan Herman 6:55
I cut 20 of a style, they cut 2000.
Mel Brooks 6:58
Now we're talking. see. and you cut fancy goods, I know patterns. And they cut solid, solid brown solid. Right, right. Right, right. Absolutely.
David Susskind 7:10
How Did she feel when she read about the peculiar lifestyles?
Stan Herman 7:15
Well she I go back to what David said she doesn't understand. doesn't talk about that. doesn't talk about those things at all.
David Steinberg 7:23
My my mother loves my new record.
David Susskind 7:28
What's it called? What's the name of the record, David?
David Steinberg 7:31
It's on Electra. And it's called David Steinberg disguised as a normal person. And she
Mel Brooks 7:38
doesn't she call it electric the truth
David Steinberg 7:40
My mom also doesn't have an accent. She was raised by Ukrainians. So she speaks worse than you would if you had a Yiddish accent
David Susskind 7:48
What does she sound like?
David Steinberg 7:50
I'm not good at inflection I am gonna make towards the Myron cone reformed temple style of talking. No, I I get a stutter when I start to speak with a Yiddish accent. My mother was only interested in celebrities. She wants to know what is Sidney Poitier like? What is Barbara Streisand? More or less the same relationship with my mother that it verbally that that George had in Where's Papa with his mother? I try to shock her all the time because nothing shocks her. You know? She says what is Mike Douglas like? I say Mom, he's a wonderful man. Imagine how shocked I was to find him before each show shooting up sometimes she believes
Mel Brooks 8:44
she's maybe a captain.
David Susskind 8:47
Are you gonna tell her about this appear?
David Steinberg 8:49
I haven't decided yet. I haven't decided what
David Susskind 8:55
another question? Okay. Do you tell your mother stories?
Mel Brooks 9:03
Do you have a name? Do you have a song? Like here? I am my Melvin. No, I don't. I've come to stop the show. Just to handle his mind his looks and your hearts. I'll grow. Do you have
George Segal 9:13
I have no song like that? No, I never had a song
Mel Brooks 9:15
You got one now. My name is George Segal. They say I'm regal. They say I'm selling regal shoes. I know. I know a lot of Jews. We could do a lot with that name. Yes. How about Susskind? My name is David Susskind. I think I'm very funny. I think I will sign bird that's the fine bird. That's the Weinberg, Ohio of Jews
David Susskind 9:50
We'll be back in a minute.
CUT TO BREAK
David Susskind 10:02
The thing you just did reminds me must have been born out of your years as a social director in the Catskills.
Mel Brooks 10:07
Yes I was a pool tumbler
David Susskind 10:09
What is that?
Mel Brooks 10:09
Well, I an entertainer, I wasn't a real comic yet, I was allowed to entertain the guests at the pool. After lunch, I would come out with a derby and a heavy alpaca coat in the middle of July. Two heavy suitcases filled with bricks. And I would jump off the diving board screaming I don't want to live and that would give them a laugh after lunch to settle down with us to serve food in the mountains. They served me a thing when I don't know what it was. It was like something wrapped in something you know what the heavy dough and it was like undercooked with a little noodle with a little meat. I don't know what it was. I called it Harold. And it laid onto my heart for three years. And every day I'd say good morning Harold. How are you? Remember when I ate you your little devil? Worst food in the world?
David Susskind 11:04
What was that? You know, everyone today says that that was the great breeding place.
Mel Brooks 11:08
It was a sporty place for a lot of Jewish comedians,
David Susskind 11:12
because we're those tough people to please. I mean
Mel Brooks 11:15
Tough? they liked nothing. I used to do an hour and a half in one. With taps with everything I'd sing I dance, I tell stories and jokes. I do Jolie. I kill myself. And I say I don't like me, folks. You stink your state. And they were the critics. Atkinson and Crowder in their equivalents that Jewish Jewish lady would be in the tea room in the tea room, a little sponge cake and tea and you go by and they say never mind we like you'll never mind. That comment. I don't mind doing Don't worry. You. Never mind. You don't have to be good for us.
David Susskind 11:49
that'll break your heart
Mel Brooks 11:53
They like nothing. They only said all I ever heard was $16 a day. Let's breathe.
David Susskind 12:01
Oh, you were in high school in college. You had a jazz band it Bruno Lynch and his Imperial Jazz Band. BRUNO Lynch.
George Segal 12:09
Bruno Lynch Yes. i In all honesty, I did change my name at one time in my career.
David Susskind 12:14
So you did
George Segal 12:15
Yes, I did. Because I felt that George Segal in his Imperial jazz band didn't have the rhythm didn't have the spunk didn't have to go. BRUNO Lynch and his Imperial jazz. What do you think?
David Susskind 12:25
Which is why Bruno Lynch became a household word and a great record seller. Yes.
Mel Brooks 12:29
Did you kidnap that Lindbergh baby?
David Susskind 12:32
Where you, were you uh? Oh Lord. Were you a success a lot of places
George Segal 12:48
Yes I had some success. Yes, I saying I wish I could show me that. I was the vocalist also for the band and I was the organizer and leader of the band which was the only way that I could play with the band. Since I was the worst musician in the band. They were very good musicians
David Steinberg 13:01
George, would you do something for us now?
George Segal 13:05
I wish I could Jimmy like my sister Kate. Oh, she takes it like cupola jelly on a plate and all the boys in the neighborhood. They know she does it and it's mighty going oh I know I'm late but I'll be up to date if I can take it
David Susskind 13:15
you're all right it's it's it's it's a ghastly way to go the trouble is you never know when he's acting.
George Segal 13:42
What are you doing?
David Susskind 13:44
I'm just I'm putting your mic and putting your mic back up.
Mel Brooks 13:49
George, you're on the David Susskind show. you'll be home in a half hour
David Susskind 13:57
when did you and how did you get the show business? You alright, George
George Segal 14:02
I'm okay I'm okay.
David Susskind 14:05
You won't have to sing again. David
Mel Brooks 14:08
I think God heard you sing and said..
David Susskind 14:16
David, how and when did you get the show business bug?
David Steinberg 14:19
Oh it's not an interesting story.
David Susskind 14:23
Weren't you were being prepared for being a Rabbi
David Steinberg 14:26
yes they used to salt me two hours every day prepared? No i i studied that. I took a degree of Hebrew literature but that's not rabbinical. That's
Mel Brooks 14:41
you learn the mother tongue did your mother tongue is yet when you want to hear the real mother tongue Yes. When you come up already at six o'clock What am I gonna just keep it hot all the time for you. You're not gonna eat. That's all your everybody's eating but you that is the mother tongue
David Susskind 15:01
I remember you had a brief fling on Broadway
Stan Herman 15:04
Yeah, I did.
David Susskind 15:05
tried to be in
Stan Herman 15:06
I got out of the dress business I decided to be a singer I was in on. I was Pierre Olaf's under study that was my big claim to fame. I saw myself as Rock Hudson and they saw me as Pierre Olaf so I got out of show business. I also did George I sang I did you know those 12 hits for $1 that used to buy in the in the five and 10 where you think it was Elvis Presley and you think I was the Everly Brothers both of them? I was telling Della Reese because they're
Mel Brooks 15:33
Notice the way he's looking for the next question. Yeah
Stan Herman 15:39
that was my that was my
Mel Brooks 15:40
intention. How cruel. How sharp this business, how evil really? I mean the band's the middle of a very terribly boring story for the next question, burying you're ready to turn out terrible I think God has taken a dislike to you and you know his punishments are terrific.
David Susskind 16:06
Could you project what will happen?
Mel Brooks 16:10
A flood. he's very good at what you do as you can see here, alright, without standing without you guys. Without standing and they give us four bars. I don't see anything you know, Joe. You know Joe Greene's work, don't you? Yes. That's Joe. Great. Do a little Giuseppe version. Be Wayne, that's easy.
Stan Herman 16:42
Okay Daddy domani not that serious.
Mel Brooks 16:47
That was very good, by the way
Stan Herman 16:54
Not bad, if you want to come down to the Bowery and watch me sing at the Bowery
Mel Brooks 16:57
I've got a maroon Buick parked outside. If you want to go down the Bowery
David Susskind 17:04
as you talk about your Mothers Day
Mel Brooks 17:06
As you talk, I didn't say a word
Dan Greenburg 17:08
The question begins as you talk about your mothers. Read the question please
David Susskind 17:21
Were your mothers really the original. Original women's liberation is you know, I mean, it's not Kate MILLETTE. And, Bella,
Dan Greenburg 17:30
no, I don't think they know what to make of that. I don't really think they know what to make of that. No, but their mother's mother's mother's
David Susskind 17:37
Father was the provider
Mel Brooks 17:42
what's the status quo? Right? That's traditionalists. And if this is a movement, they're against any movement, per se, I think Jewish mothers.
Dan Greenburg 17:51
Yeah. But also it's really the whole opposite of what a Jewish mother is all about. I mean, women's liberation is so one to equal rights and so on. Mothers don't want equal rights. The duty
Mel Brooks 18:02
they want domination
David Susskind 18:05
When you see once a week, you see your folks. Oh they live in Chicago. When you do see your folks, do you discuss
Dan Greenburg 18:11
We eat a lot
George Segal 18:12
I met Dan's dance folks on the beach. You possibly didn't know that?
Mel Brooks 18:16
I didn't. Even as you speak I don't know.
George Segal 18:20
So tell us I met I met the MR. MRS. Greenberg. And they're lovely. Quiet cuties.
Mel Brooks 18:26
What was your mother upset with the book? I mean, did she think that anything was you know?
Dan Greenburg 18:30
No, because I told her it wasn't about her. It isn't. My mother is a nice English lady. A wonderful accent very charming. My mother
Mel Brooks 18:42
did not watch what she did. She you know, asked you about
Dan Greenburg 18:45
she said what is this place? And no, I totally was a very gentle, loving book and everything. And some people whispered in the ear that it wasn't quite that but no she she really loved when she got to be a kind of a local celebrity in her Hebrew school. She teaches Hebrew school and people stop in the Hebrew school and ask for her autograph. It's very cute.
Mel Brooks 19:06
Did they did she sign it from right to left? That's pretty lovely. She does. She teaches you teaches you I will be in Chicago. I'm promoting. We're opening
Dan Greenburg 19:16
look her up
Mel Brooks 19:16
We're opening 12 chirs in Chicago.
Dan Greenburg 19:20
You want a nice brisket. call my mother a nice brisket with noodle kugel.
Mel Brooks 19:25
I would love it. Will it lay on to my heart like Harold? I will seriously Yeah, I will say hello to you folks. When I get happy people. Happy people.
David Susskind 19:34
That's lovely aside you've had
David Steinberg 19:37
Will you say hello to my folks when we get to Chicago too
Mel Brooks 19:39
I didn't know you're from Chicago.
David Steinberg 19:40
I know my folks are in LA
Mel Brooks 19:41
but can you call them long distance while I'm in Chicago?
David Steinberg 19:45
No, there I moved my family to Los Angeles with a thought that I would never be there. physically from Canada and now I find myself in Los Angeles every second weekend. We're just in the same hassle field.
Mel Brooks 19:57
Where do they live in LA? What area
David Steinberg 19:59
My mother lives across. It's really interesting. There's a big reformed temple in in Los Angeles,
Mel Brooks 20:06
like to stay close to God.
David Steinberg 20:08
Close to the temple. Yeah. But, but what's interesting about it is that in Los Angeles, I think there is this rabbi who went to school for 12 years to get his degree of Rubik's. He has a degree of Hebrew literature. He went to Hebrew University for four years to get an MA in English Literature comes to Los Angeles as the leading congregation. And as people pass by the seat that's Buddy Hackett shul
David Susskind 20:40
that's funny hold it a minute back in a minute
CUT TO BREAK:
David Susskind 20:52
Listen, we've agreed you're gonna call his mother and then you're gonna try to make contact with the Steinberg folks
Mel Brooks 20:58
right behind the Capitol, Buddy Hackett. You're
David Susskind 20:59
right, buddy, buddy. What was growing up like in terms of could you date non Jewish girls? Was that tolerated? No, you were in high school college.
Dan Greenburg 21:10
I was engaged to a non Jewish girl and my parents really, I really have to hand it to him. They really were terrific. They and there was a lot there was a little trembling at first, but they really, they got they were wonderful. And then we broke up and then I got engaged to Nora and there was such a feeling of relief. They class per to their bosom bosoms. Both bosoms. And they really, they love her so much. They love her more than me. But I can understand that she's a lot more attractive, lovable person who knew her and I a certain amount of their anger. Yes, no, but I think I think it's terrific. And no, what was your question?
David Susskind 21:47
Were your folks strict Mel in terms of who you could see and how late you could stay up, be home by
Mel Brooks 21:53
no, but you had a smack that mezuzah on away. I'm gonna explain what? Well, they're actually the Torah, or the most significant, I think it's the 10 commandments actually are written in a little tiny scroll. They're put into this little metal house. And this little metal housing is screwed in or nailed into the side of a door. And you kiss that on the way in more or less blesses your house. Or at least there is some deference paid to the fact that it is a sanctified place.
Mel Brooks 21:53
It's to symbolize the time when, when the 10 plagues occurred in Egyptian time, they had to rub up blood on the doorposts so that the angel of death would pass by the Jewish homes because they were living. So it's a symbol of that.
David Susskind 22:49
I'm glad you right on.
George Segal 22:51
Well, that's the first time I've heard that. We didn't have a mezuzah. We just had a door
David Susskind 23:01
they were no doors. I do. But with with all the strictness of your mother she said, Mel go out tonight. Enjoy yourself come home at any hour. I mean, you were given that kind of license
Mel Brooks 23:12
She was so busy cleaning, washing floors, oil cloth. I mean, there was no pattern anymore. They were just what she cleaned. The morning tonight. She'd fold blank. I mean, the bedding I mean their little Tarzan's their little King Kong Z's Jewish ladies then they're all Jewish sinew, they wrapped mattresses and they turn they put them out the window. They spray the the kill the bedbugs. The cleaning can killing until they die themselves. They clean and kill. They are they are incredibly fantastic. Monumental people. Jewish mothers, I'm in mind. They are incredible people
David Susskind 23:55
with money. It was a problem in all your household.
David Steinberg 23:58
Yes they it was never a problem that it
Mel Brooks 24:01
The problem was in defining the coinage. Right, but there was no money. So we didn't know what a nickel are, you know? Well,
David Steinberg 24:07
we were never we were never wealthy but we never dealt with money. My father would go back and forth between the rabbinit and the grocery business depending upon which was more lucrative. And he always seemed to be missing out on which one it was. We lived I lived most of my life above the grocery store. And I there was an attic that I lived in and my brother and I slept in the same bed and there used to be I think it was raspberries on the wallpaper that I used to see every night. Then one day
Mel Brooks 24:38
Is it funny to look at raspberries and smell herrings
David Steinberg 24:41
but they they used to cheer me up used to think that as a kid as nine years old, I need a morale boost to tell me that we were moving and they take off the raspberries and put football players on the on the wallpaper really nice to come home and it was like a new house for me. That was everything was on a different level. You know
David Susskind 24:56
Did you have to work for your spending money you have to get to
David Steinberg 24:59
No that's the other thing is I always seem to have as much money as I needed. I just never thought about big dates and things like that.
Mel Brooks 25:08
I guess we will. I don't know, I was poor, poverty stricken. But we never I don't think I realized it when I was a kid
David Susskind 25:17
Did they ever go on welfare? Did they ever go
Mel Brooks 25:19
no, no. I mean, for some reason there was there was a level a threshold of dignity that could not be broken. And going on relief was that was it you could not? There was something irreligious about
David Steinberg 25:31
this. This curiously enough. If my mother was watching, this would be the thing that she would be embarrassed by the fact that I would say that we were poor, even though there's no hang up about it. You still are. It depends. First generation or second generation Jews. The I'm first generation my my mother and father came over from Russia, because I was in Canada, and there was a later immigration even I'm 28 years old. And so what happens is, there's still a feeling of always being a stranger in this land. And that never changes. It changed a little bit with me and maybe more with my children, but to my mother and to my family, they are still don't have their roots into the earth. So that you don't talk about how poor you are, as you want to adjust, even though there's no emphasis on the money.
David Susskind 26:20
How well you did, you had more money than
Dan Greenburg 26:24
my my parents? Were always teachers. I mean, teachers aren't to your wealthy citizens. My father taught art in in the high schools. And my mother always taught Hebrew. And so I mean, we had an entirely different lifestyle than
Mel Brooks 26:44
If they got together, they could be Shegal
David Susskind 26:48
Can I ask you about a myth about? Many women feel that Jewish men make the best husbands? Is there anything than that?
Mel Brooks 26:54
That's the stark Naked Truth?
Larry Goldberg 26:57
Yeah, but they play around with anybody they can?
Mel Brooks 27:01
Oh, no, no, I think Jewish husbands are constant, constantly fooling around?
David Susskind 27:08
No, is there something to that proposition? And if they make
Mel Brooks 27:12
David Susskind 27:14
That Jewish husbands make the best Jewish men make the best husbands
Mel Brooks 27:18
a myth, a myth, a myth, a canard? And a bit of a conundrum. At this point, at this point, it would have been 68 down. Because there I mean, some Jewish husbands are terrific, and others are short and disgusting
David Susskind 27:36
The proposition that givers they're generous, they're buyers.
Mel Brooks 27:40
David Susskind 27:42
Not a giver or a buyer
Mel Brooks 27:44
I give nothing. I buy nothing. So I mean, you can't go by me. I won't take anywhere.
David Susskind 27:50
But has Annie got lovely.
Mel Brooks 27:52
Annie makes 100 a week? She doesn't need it.
David Susskind 27:56
Would you occasionally
Mel Brooks 27:58
Once in a while, I'll go crazy. I'll buy a pretzel with every bit of salt in tacked on it. No, I wanted to I mean, I I am out of the, I guess the normal way of Jewish husband life when we're both in this business in this crazy business, so but for the normal middle class or upper middle class, Jewish husband? I don't see any any any any special, higher moral way of being?
David Susskind 28:28
It's a myth. A conard a conundrum, would you say George
George Segal 28:32
that Jewish men make the best kind of husbands?
Mel Brooks 28:36
You mean that the myth is that they deliver more,
David Susskind 28:38
if they deliver more that they take anything? buy anything? I'll get you anything.
George Segal 28:45
That's me. That's you anywhere. I'll take her anywhere, anywhere she wants to go. I'll take her
Mel Brooks 28:50
And leave her there
David Susskind 28:53
David, though you haven't taken on the marital bond, yet tend to be generous with members of the opposite sex.
David Steinberg 29:00
What I was thinking more I think that the myth of Jewish men, I think that happens to be a myth other than Mel and George Quite obviously, but I think the Jewish Princess concept is very active and alive.
David Susskind 29:14
What is the Jewish Princess queen?
David Steinberg 29:15
Well, the Jewish purchases the daughter that's been spoiled and brought up by the parents and they never quite get out of it make spec their husbands to cater to them in the same way that the mother and father did. And they never outgrow that.
Mel Brooks 29:29
It's true. As a matter of fact, it's codified. There are laws and rules, yes, governing that. If you meet a Jewish girl and shake her hand, that's dinner. If you should take her home after dinner and rub around and kiss in the doorway, right? That's already a small ring would be something if God forbid, anything filthy should happen amongst you. That's marriage and the same grave buried together. Yes they do expect a lot from them fooling around.
David Susskind 30:07
Why? Why is that? Because did their parents say look nothing unless he married
Mel Brooks 30:11
Because they said from the minute they're born little Jewish girl they say now Queen Elizabeth, please eat Yamato. Please eat another spoonful of sour cream. And little you see little Jewish girls with a crown don't get the Jewish ladies expect a lot for a little they do expect a lot and they deserve a lot because they're short waisted and teriffic in bed.
David Susskind 30:39
We'll Be right back
CUT TO BREAK:
David Susskind 30:47
are you is your single condition the fact that we're on again, David? Are you single because
Mel Brooks 30:53
a little boy's room but everything was too small?
David Susskind 30:57
Are you Are you single because you're frightened of the Jewish princess?
David Steinberg 31:03
No I'm not frightened of the Jewish. I happen to be the Roger Vadim to Jewish girl.
David Susskind 31:11
What does that me?
David Steinberg 31:12
I don't know.
Mel Brooks 31:14
Very good. I know.
George Segal 31:17
David Susskind 31:19
Could you explaing it in a way that we can live with.
George Segal 31:21
No way I can explain that.
David Susskind 31:23
Could you explain it in a way that would keep us alive? What does being the Roger Vadim have Jewish princesses
Mel Brooks 31:34
means that many Jewish girls seek his attention. That's what it means. It's as simple as that. Well, they would like to run barefoot through his hair
David Susskind 31:46
But part of the Jewish Princess syndrome is grabbing the man and making merry right?
David Steinberg 31:51
Yes, but they also get the sense that I was born with the gift of laughter in a sense that the world is mad.
Mel Brooks 31:58
And besides it again, again they get the sense
David Steinberg 32:04
they get I couldn't do that again. But gift the laughter Yes, the I don't see I have anything to do with with the Jewish girl your Jewish girl.
David Susskind 32:12
Do you have anything to do with your average Gentiles?
David Steinberg 32:14
Well, it's hard to bring a Gentile girl home to a Jewish family what you do is you bring home a black girl first
David Susskind 32:24
breaking the ice
David Steinberg 32:26
You bring home a Gentile girl and then you come on say Mary Smith
David Susskind 32:36
seriously, have you brought have you brought Gentile ladies into your household? your father being a rabbi.
Mel Brooks 32:49
You don't want a Jewish religion if you're going with a Jewish girl if you're just engaged to her and your break off, you still pay alimony. Illegal that's legal. Sure three kisses and alimony alimony. It's not a lot. There was a token token
David Susskind 33:08
a percent of you in your bachelor you must have paid a lot of alimony.
Mel Brooks 33:11
Oh in my bachelorhood did I pay alimony? There was a girl in Scranton I gotta tell you she had a leg better than my entire brother ravings. I don't want to talk about didn't want to hear but she was so skinny the way they said check your umbrella against me
David Susskind 33:32
let's say you're single your
Stan Herman 33:35
No, they don't they look at me. They see dresses. That's about what they see. But they see a successful designer who could possibly get them something wholesale.
David Susskind 33:47
And you have no interest.
Stan Herman 33:48
No, no, no.
Mel Brooks 33:49
Yeah, the biggest I think Jewish girls biggest problem is the tip. They want you to have a modicum of knowledge. Yes, they do want you beneficence. They want to see a big tip. But then they want to see the waiter. Yeah, they want to see your takeout like, Yeah, let's say the meal is $38.42 with tax. they want you to put about $7 down for the waiter. And then they'll say leave him two but they want to see that seven go out. So you know like they know you have it like that. The attitude but not the actual real payment and money. Are you looking?
David Susskind 34:21
How is it you weren't trapped with all your vigor with making
Mel Brooks 34:26
blue marks on my legs.
David Susskind 34:29
But look at all the princesses you know you were 23 by your own confession.
Mel Brooks 34:33
I gave them all a telephone
David Susskind 34:35
You gave them all a telephone. But um, but um, but they could have married Mel Brooks, the writer on the Sid Caesar show making 5000 a week and brought him home to mom and Papa.
Mel Brooks 34:43
That would be fainting and joy in the house celebration.
David Susskind 34:47
How did you keep loose and elusive?
Mel Brooks 34:49
I would say when you get out of the car.
David Susskind 34:53
Then that could do it right. After a long intimate relationship. You get out of the car
Mel Brooks 35:01
Jewish girls are the same as any girls. They're no good. Dangerous that trouble and always in the shower. Always in the shower later, the fantastic regret that permeate your system that pervades your soul. The why that the why that gushes forth from the deepest recesses of your being. Why did I do it? Why? And what am I going to say to her now? I light a cigarette, and we'll talk about Charlie Barnett What am I gonna say? Now but it's over now that the passion is gone. All girls. There's nothing to say to later.
David Susskind 35:46
Yeah Do you have any you have any memories of the Jewish princesses previous to Nora
Dan Greenburg 35:59
I, as a matter of fact, I was going out with a Jewish Princess when I was at UCLA. And I couldn't believe it that this gorgeous looking rich Jewish girl was going out with this funny looking creep from Chicago fellow with glasses was skinny, played a guitar silly person. And then one night she invited me to a party and I came in and there were six beautiful Jewish princesses all identical there were six funny looking guys with glasses playing guitar
David Susskind 36:30
they run too tight.
David Steinberg 36:31
You see David even though by by not by trying to avoid the Jewish Princess, you can get into the other Pitfall, which is you look for Vogue magazine type girls with their with cheekbones two feet above their head. THat's the other kind
Mel Brooks 36:47
David Steinberg 36:48
inverted chest. And this kind of gives you the impression that they are very sophisticated you know they you've discussed the Vivaldi with them and and you can discuss the early works of Paul clay and you can discuss the pro music and Tiguan when you get home they send you a copy of your good man Charlie Brown. And that's a whole different call. You get suckered into that,
Mel Brooks 37:14
by the way,
David Susskind 37:15
Are there different lifestyles between the Jewish girls and the non Jewish groups as far as the war the man pursuer concern.
David Steinberg 37:23
I think so. Yeah, I think just as there there are differences between the Jew and Gentile depends how you're brought up. I think girls I don't think you can you can't lump girls and that's in fact what the women's liberation thing is so it's so good about rightly so right can keep on talking about girls like therapy infusing
Mel Brooks 37:42
exactly like they were different creatures or they're not
David Steinberg 37:49
They are Different creatures
Mel Brooks 37:50
Yes. Girls are our people just as you and I even that even even defining it that way is negative and rather chauvinistic. We shouldn't make such a big fuss about about the fact that girls are girls and boys are boys, you know, except Except sexually, because that's a lot of fun. But apart from that, it's it's really silly and rather antique to think of women as different human beings are different creatures. My favorite human be people have been Oh, my have been women. I they have been. By far, brighter, and better gooder than most men that I have. No. Seriously, I did business
Stan Herman 38:37
with I did ladies more than they're brilliant. They're bright.
Mel Brooks 38:41
They are better looking. Yeah. Who wants to look at a guy all night?
David Susskind 38:45
Is that? Is that a Cuban cigar?
George Segal 38:47
I think so. It's a gift.
Stan Herman 38:51
It only goes in that direction.
David Susskind 38:54
No, I was wondering all evening and only have you liked it. Oh, it's lovely. Yes. Aromatic.
George Segal 38:59
It is. It's nice smelling cigar.
Mel Brooks 39:01
If you want to look at another question here.
David Susskind 39:05
Now we're about to close. Do you have anything left? You'd like to get off your chest in a minute? Anything?
Mel Brooks 39:10
I have not? I am I'm spoken out. I have nothing to say. We get no money. A dollar we get for the two hours right? I can do a club date at the hotel or low. I could have $2500 now Good evening, ladies and germs. Like I'm telling you what's in my heart. Never nothing.
David Steinberg 39:31
Takes a long time to be sitting right. You know, I feel I should have been busier than this
Mel Brooks 39:34
I mean, if this. Were a party and we weren't on the end we just met. I mean, we would have left already.
David Susskind 39:45
I gotta tell you, I've never had more fun ever. This movie is the 12 chairs and it's quite marvelous and got rave notices his movie Well which one you want? Where's Papa has just opened It's sensational. It's a wild black, outrageous, funny, funny comedy and the Owl and the Pussycat unknown lady named Barbra Streisand. His new album on Electra
David Steinberg 40:10
David Steinberg, disguised as a normal person,
David Susskind 40:12
David Steinberg, and by his dresses and read his books, he made pizza. Pizza, and thank you, we'll be right back
CUT TO BREAK
David Susskind 40:26
if there's a funnier show this year, I don't know where it could be. I'm very grateful to I guess their talents and their wonderful friends. Thank you very much. Join us again next week at the same time to learn goodnight
Description: "HOW TO BE A JEWISH SON, OR MY SON THE SUCCESS!" WITH MEL BROOKS, DAVID STEINBERG, GEORGE SEGAL, STAN HERMAN, DAN GREENBURG, LARRY GOLDBERG. JEWISH MEN IN SHOW BUSINESS
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