Historic Films Stock Footage Archive: FJ-HRN-3174

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01:00:30 0	B-Roll – Larry the Cable Guy Roast – some women run back to backstage, shots of backdrop, a little bit of exterior around lot, American flags
01:02:34 124	B-Roll – Larry the Cable Guy Roast – Vicki Roberts, Reno Collier, Rebecca Cory
01:06:11 341	Sound Bite: Reno Collier Dude it’s totally ripe. That guy doesn’t change his clothes man. Those shirts and he’s got maybe 8 of them. I’ve seen him wear, I mean the guy’s made like tons of money, I’m like buy some pants man, buy a new shirt, put something on that you know, he’s happy like that.
01:07:37 427	Sound Bite: Reno Collier Uh I’m married but uh like to think about her. I’m not in that thing and people for most beautiful, me and Andy Richter always get screwed.
01:07:57 447	B-Roll – Larry the Cable Guy Roast – wide, Kyle Cease
01:08:17 467	Sound Bite: Reno Collier I pull more stuff on him really like um I was telling him, we used to do this show and we were in Alabama and the curtain that’s in front of the stage right so he’s out there doing a set and when he does a show he paces back and forth, so when he’d look back there’s only a window of room like this, so I took off all my clothes. I was naked except for my boots, and I had a cracker basket and I was going like you want some of that? And he does everything based on steps so it completely threw his set off, he didn’t know what the hell he was talking about and then we did another show in South Carolina and girls were throwing their underwear at him that said Git R Done on them. (talks) And they were like thongs and stuff so I went in the back and I took my underwear off and I went up in the front where all these girls were running up and I ran up and chucked my underwear at them, like this big fat guy underwear is floating down like the feather in Forrest Gump. It’s fun, we screw around all the time, it’s fun.
01:09:03 513	Sound Bite: Gary Valentine Well he used to pull down my pants all the time in Florida, the comedy clubs. I think it was because I sent them a couple of bouquets of flowers. (talks) No reason, just buddies. Guys being guys, you know.
01:09:30 540	Sound Bite: Gary Valentine No Larry never gets ripe. That’s the beauty of Larry. He’s um he never gets ripe. I’ve wrestled with him and um I’ve had my, he’s got my head underneath the armpit there and I love it, I like being there, it’s a good spot.
01:10:12 582	Sound Bite: Kyle Cease Um I know him very well in the way of like not knowing him at all. I’ve never actually met him, but if I had I would have so it’s something to think about. But it’s been killing me for a couple years. I had this made yesterday because I want him to know that this is how it would be… he didn’t even get done looking up how to pronounce get it finished so he’s kind of a hypocrite in a way so I’m here to show him that, you know.
01:10:41 611	Sound Bite: Kyle Cease Well it’s weird because we almost actually bought, brought a bag of garbage with us to make him feel at home because I know he’s going to feel weird. People are in suits, speaking with you know full sentences so we’re excited to be here and um this is Julie, by the way. We’ve had a lot of sex. I had sex with her earlier today. Julie – 3 times. So in just in case… the second time I had sex with her was just to prove to her that it wasn’t a dream because I’m very good with a lot of sex. Why don’t you tell him about it? Julie – I watch him touch himself. That’s not, don’t even… Julie – And I come out of the shower and he’s done and I’m like… That’s not… Julie – That’s not sex. Okay so I have a lot of sex with her and hold her down and stuff like that, I mean. Julie – Hold me down. Holding down. Yeah.
01:11:31 661	Sound Bite: Kyle Cease Yeah that’s why I came I’m gonna be like no Larry, take that hat off but he’ll try to hit me and that’s the usual response and then yeah… (talks) Right I feel like I should slowly adapt to him like in other words I need to pull my arm sleeves up the suit. You have to work it your way with him. (Julie says something) I didn’t shave today. I thought this would make him feel a little bit at home. So yeah, I plan to poop my pants. So yeah it should be fun.
01:12:01 691	Sound Bite: Kyle Cease No yeah check it out. Film me halfway through the set. You’ll just notice me getting a little bit taller and sadder. And people around me will start leaving so it’s something I’ve got planned so you know so.
01:12:17 707	B-Roll – Larry the Cable Guy Roast – India de Beaufort, Kyle Cease, John Melendez, Doug Benson, de Beaufort, Benson
01:14:30 840	Sound Bite: India de Beaufort & Marques Ray Ray – Um I thought when I first saw him that it was uh it was a character but it’s really him and I think if I meet him I’m gonna try to break him cause I’m not really sure if he’s trying to dupe me. Beaufort – Yeah I think I’d be interested to sess him out. Ray – Probably fight him too. I might fight him. No. I love him. Beaufort – I think you might get your ass kicked. Ray – Yeah it’s probably true.
01:15:01 871	Sound Bite: India de Beaufort & Marques Ray Beaufort – Our new show is called Krod Mandoon. Ray – And the Flaming Sword of Fire. Beaufort – And we are part of the band of roving ?, and it’s all about it’s kind of set a fantasy realm and it’s about this gang who have to fight evil and they get paid by the fabulous Matt Lucas and we have Kevin (names off some names)… And you play? Ray – I play Bruce who is frat boy. (talks) Fantasy frat boy, I think I know how to fight. I know how to show it off a little bit. (talks) No I don’t get to touch the flaming sword. Watch your mouth. Watch your mouth.
01:15:40 910	B-Roll – Larry the Cable Guy Roast – Jeff Foxworthy, Nick D’Agosto, Doug Benson
01:18:26 1076	Sound Bite: John Melendez You mean the sleeveless shirt? Let’s hope not, she’s got much hotter arms. But uh, okay.
01:18:38 1088	Sound Bite: John Melendez I do. He’s been on the show so many times and he’s a great guy, he’s always like a, he’s like a a ?, which is a good thing because you know there are so many people that come in and out, and he’s always like, what’s up? You know so he’s a good guy, you know.
01:19:08 1118	Sound Bite: Doug Benson Did I get super high tonight? Well wouldn’t I be shirking my responsibilities as a stoner comic if I showed up at the Larry the Cable Guy Roast completely straight? (talks) I think it would be sad, so uh I uh you did a few things before coming on to the Warner Brothers lot where security’s very intense and let’s keep all of this on the DL.
01:19:36 1146	Sound Bite: Doug Benson Talks about Super High Me
01:20:03 1173	Sound Bite: Doug Benson I love Larry. Mostly because I’ve never worked with him and uh because he uh you know he distracts people that uh I don’t want coming to my shows. No I’m just kidding. He’s, by all accounts is a super nice guy. I’ve never met him but uh you know I wish him well tonight because he’s gonna be, stuffs gonna be coming out of more than one hole tomorrow.
01:20:36 1206	Sound Bite: Doug Benson Oh yeah he does, now that you mention it. (talks) I would hope dressed up for his roast, put on a blazer or something instead of his stinky working shirt that he wears even though he never works. He’s not working for a living, he’s telling jokes. It’s easy. (talks) Yeah that’s what I’m saying. I totally skirted all responsibility in life by uh becoming a joke teller.
01:21:03 1233	Sound Bite: Doug Benson Oh yeah you gotta take a whole hour out of your day to have everyone stare at you and appreciate you, it’s a crazy business.
01:21:17 1247	B-Roll – Larry the Cable Guy Roast – Lisa Lampanelli, Jeff Foxworthy, Larry the Cable Guy and Cara Whitney
01:25:25 1495	Sound Bite: Jeff Foxworthy Please, not even close. Not if they have to give them the answers no he wouldn’t make it out of first grade.
01:25:39 1509	Sound Bite: Jeff Foxworthy Yeah. You know the fact that he has children just astonishes me because I’ve been on that bus and seen his underwear on the floor, the fact that anyone would give him the opportunity to have children is amazing.
01:26:00 1530	Sound Bite: Jeff Foxworthy Um you know you see, the kind of girls you see at the state fair a lot of times uh big white legs, bruises on them you know, vaccination scars, ? on their eye, tube top, that kind of thing, which actually turns him on which is scary.
01:26:23 1553	Sound Bite: Jeff Foxworthy I gave up, you know, this is what I say about Larry: Larry is a lot like going to the state fair. 5 minutes of hanging around him you will feel better about your own family.
01:26:42 1572	Sound Bite: Jeff Foxworthy I love him death uh you know when we started doing the Blue Collar Tour, I thought about who was it that America hasn’t seen that they would like and his success, it just thrills me to death because I always knew it was this funny, I’ve known him for 25 years, and it just thrills me to death. He’s such a kind and generous guy, does all the stuff for folks that nobody ever sees which is you know it’s from the heart so this thrills me.
01:27:14 1604	Sound Bite: Jeff Foxworthy Trust me. She showed up on my roast, which is my mother’s tombstone reads “Thanks Lampanelli”. Yeah, this should be interesting.
01:27:27 1617	B-Roll – Larry the Cable Guy Roast – Lisa Lampanelli
01:27:51 1641	Sound Bite: Lisa Lampanelli Let me tell ya, I don’t care a crap about none of them if that that were Sapp, because as you know I enjoy the blacks very much. You know my vag has been occupied by more blacks than a Culver City storage unit, so the way it goes is, I’m gonna try and track down this Sapp and eh oh eh oh donkey punch, that’s all I’m saying.
01:28:17 1667	Sound Bite: Lisa Lampanelli I feel it is because I usually have to close them all because here’s the deal, they go, “Lisa Lampanelli, you gotta go last” So I can’t do none of the references, but now I get the first crack at the octomom, crazy chimp from Connecticut, I get Chris Brown joke, so they can all suck it this year.
01:28:56 1706	Sound Bite: Greg Giraldo You know I don’t know I’ve never been close enough to him to judge. I would assume it would get ripe, but he’s got a lot of money so he can afford very high and he’s probably had his scent glands removed.
01:29:14 1724	Sound Bite: Greg Giraldo Uh well Lisa she doesn’t need any help, she’s gonna be fine, and you know I try to save all my bullets for the show. You’ll see. (talks) Does she? Well she’s hosting so she’s got a lot of time to spew her venom, so we’ll see. She’s an evil person you know so it’s bound, something evil’s bound to come up. She looks particularly dude-like tonight so that’s gonna help with the jokes a little bit.
01:29:54 1764	Sound Bite: Nick DiPaolo Uh I know Larry not that well, I met him a long time ago on the road in Florida and uh I work with him I’ve been on the bus with him a couple times before he was Larry the Cable Guy, but we hit it off great, he’s a great guy, deserves all success. He was funny before Larry and he’s funny now and uh I’m happy for him, you know.
01:30:22 1792	Sound Bite: Nick DiPaolo Yeah she’s done pretty well, but you know she can you know. (talks) No she’s gonna get it, right up her dooper like she likes it. she’s a dirty pig and she’s gonna get a real beat down. I’ll give her revenge. No that’s the Italian in her. Hey she’s kicked our ass, she’s got quite a career goin so you’ve got to be happy for Lisa. She’s a monster. She’s a broad from you know, I wanna say Stanton Island but it’s Connecticut.
01:30:52 1822	B-Roll – Larry the Cable Guy Roast – Larry the Cable Guy, Warren Sapp, Derrick Miller, Larry and Cara Whitney
01:34:16 2026	Sound Bite: Warren Sapp Naw just a tragic situation right now. It’s 2 dudes that I knew so I’m trying to get as much information as I can and hopefully get them home.
01:34:33 2043	Sound Bite: Warren Sapp Oh I must, I must, I’m gonna try and give it my best.
01:35:01 2071	Sound Bite: Larry the Cable Guy {laughs} Well he’s right I got put back in 5th grade so many times I actually drove the rest of the class to school with me so he’s correct. No I was on his show and I can tell you how I did on it but I surprised him, let’s put it that way.
01:35:22 2092	Sound Bite: Larry the Cable Guy Yeah I saw Warren, I’m a dwarf next to Warren yeah exactly. (talks) Lisa will rip me up uh the only good thing about that is me and Lisa are really good friends and I put her in 2 out of 3 of my movies so she knows not to rip me too much or she won’t get another role. No Lisa’s great, I hope she rips me a new one I think it’ll be funny.
01:35:50 2120	Sound Bite: Larry the Cable Guy I you know what I have a ton of them, I got I don’t know honey, how many of these shirts do I got? Cara – Closets full. Closets full. Alright yeah I got closets full and I was telling them where’d you get it at, and I was like Wal-Mart. And people always thinkin I’m kiddin about that but I wasn’t, I bought the shirts it said 2 for 7.99 and I went down there and found 2 I like and I love them and if you go down to Wal-Mart tomorrow, this will be in there cause it’s the latest fashion to hit the store. I love them, they fit good. You know fat guys like me they have to have shirts that hang good.
01:36:24 2154	Sound Bite: Larry the Cable Guy Twitches and under britches? Uh I got up this morning and I had some twitches and then uh you wanna finish it? Cara – And then he put on his, and then I had sex with my wife and put on my britches. There you go.
01:36:49 2179	B-Roll – Larry the Cable Guy Roast – back of Larry’s hat, Gary Busey, Jeffrey Ross